Artists Undercover
by redisthenewblackington
Summary: Crack!Fic by request. Red and Liz go to Burning Man undercover as artists, with an enormous installation that's sure to attract their blacklister.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is another request-fulfillment fic. If you read the last one and it made you a little sad, check this one out. I didn't get a specific prompt - just a request for a crack!Fic. I've given it a shot before (in Tune in, Turn on, Drop out) but this one is much more cracktastic and absurd (which, if I'm not mistaken, is totally the point).

It starts off as mostly light PWP/smut, and Red presents Lizzie with their next blacklister, an artist that they'll have to locate at Burning Man. If you don't already know what Burning Man is, I recommend googling it in order to have a better understanding of what Red and Liz are getting into.

Thank you in advance for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimed. I own nothing.

-...-...-...-

"I've got another name for you, Lizzie. You'll love this one," Red whispered into her ear, and then nipped at the attached lobe.

She groaned and rolled over to face him. "I was asleep, asshole!"

He grabbed her hips and pulled her on top of him. "That wasn't very nice. Do you want to hear about him or not?"

"I dunno..." She trailed off, pulling her tank top over her head and twisting her hips against him. "It doesn't feel like you're in the mood to talk."

He gasped and tightened his grip, earning himself a shrug and coy smile just before she tugged at the hem of his undershirt and roughly yanked it off of him. "Burning man is next week," he said.

She pulled down his boxers and hooked her big toe into the elastic waistband to kick them down his legs without moving her mouth from his chest. Her lips blindly found his left nipple, and she bit down a little harder than intended, making him yelp.

Oh well. Red likes a little pain, and so does she.

He delivered a swift slap to the back off her thighs, and ripped off her panties.

"What about it?" She asked, breathless, and then sealed his lips with hers before he could reply.

They'd been going on like this for months now, mixing business and pleasure with great commitment. It was all very hush-hush. Only Dembe knew about them, and only because that couldn't be avoided. Liz bounced around the district, living in one motel after another, and in between, when Red was in town, she stayed with him. This way, whenever she was unexpectedly called into work, they never knew how long it might take her to get there. Any ETA was acceptable, and she loved the freedom that it afforded her.

When she released his lips with a 'smack', he replied, "We're going."

Without further ado, she pushed herself up and then sank down on him, first stretching and then squeezing around him like a vice. "No," she gasped, "We're coming, and soon."

He pulled her closer and growled into her ear, making her shudder and squirm. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew how much she loved it too. "Have I ever told you," he began, punctuating every word with a rough upward thrust of his hips, "how much I love the way you think?"

"Who is he?"

"Hm? Oh, christ, Lizzie... it's Liev Stepankov."

At that point, neither of them really had it in them to continue the conversation. They said nothing of putting it on pause as she began to ride him harder. Red worked a hand between them to get her there faster, and just as she began to tremble, he pushed her off of him and flipped over to re-enter her from behind, enthralled by the glorious view. With his hand back where she needed it, he had her moaning and spasming around him in seconds, and saw no reason to hold back himself. The heat and pulse of his own release drew hers out for even longer - more than she would have thought possible.

Spent, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against his chest and easing them back down onto the mattress, spooning without even pulling out. It was a classic Reddington move - one he knew that she loved, although she'd never said as much. She didn't have to.

When he'd sufficiently caught his breath, he went on to further explain his plan for the blacklister. "Burning man is an enormous event - an exciting collective of artists from all walks of life, and Liev is one of them. He travels around the world, teaching workshops on various types of sculpture. His is a quiet existence now, mostly rootless, but -"

Liz cut him off, "So what did he do before? Why do you want him now?"

He slipped out and pulled the blanket up to their waists. "The Kungur Six."

"Wait, what? The Kungur Six were bombs, and we already have them."

"Yes, but as you recall, the mysterious Kungur Six were blamed for some of the biggest intelligence breaches in the last thirty years. You have the bombs, but you don't have the men who really committed those crimes. And Liev Stepankov? He knows who they are, and how to find them."

"So, Burning Man. What are we doing there? How will we find him?"

"Well, first of all, we'll be bringing our own installation. Liev suffers from a serious phallus obsession. 'Suffers' may be the wrong word. I suspect that he enjoys it tremendously, but anyway, in order to find him, we'll make him come to us.. pun not intended. I've commissioned my good friend Yuri to create an enormous, interactive cock that -"

"WHAT?"

"He's got a whole team involved in the project, working around the clock. It will be about fifty feet tall, and he's making it in several pieces that will have to be welded together on-site."

"Okay, go on..." Honestly, she shouldn't be so surprised.

"Did I mention that it's interactive? Ah yes, and here's how: The veins are actually footholds. The giant cock is meant to be climbed, like one of those indoor rock walls. We'll have a few guys there to work it, helping our fellow artists to gear-up, and belaying for safety. At the top, it will have a button that makes it shoot a stream of foam straight-up into the air!"

"What the..."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. It's non-toxic, totally environmentally-friendly."

"And let me guess my cover... I'm going to have to take credit for building the giant, climbable, foam-shooting cock, aren't I? I'm the artist."

Red pulled her tightly against his chest, grinning into her shoulder. "We are going to have so much fun!"


	2. Chapter 2

AN- Remember what I said about three chapters? That's not happening. Maybe four, or five? I don't know.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I do love reviews!

-...-...-...-...-

The next morning, Liz got to work on presenting the case to the taskforce. She went in alone, as usual, and left out a lot of the major details, such as their means of attracting Stepankov.

When Red finally strolled in, dapper as ever in his three-piece suit, he asked for a word alone with Cooper and Liz, ignoring the twin glares from Donald and Samar. "Fine. My office," Cooper agreed.

"We don't have a lot of time, so I'll get right to the point. I only have two tickets, and since you know rule number one, you also know who's going with me."

"Surely you have ways around that."

Red laughed and shook his head. "You're absolutely right, Harold. I do, but I won't use them. I attend this event annually, and I won't compromise that by bringing a gaggle of cops along for the ride. I'm sorry."

"You understand that this is work, right? No getting stoned and hitch-hiking across the desert."

"Sir, I personally will not allow that to happen," Liz chimed in.

"Harold, I saw an opportunity and thought it may interest you. It's as simple as that. If I was wrong, we can skip this name. I'll go to Burning Man, and you all can just," he paused and waved his hands around, "keep doing whatever you do around here."

"If Stepankov knows who committed those intelligence breaches, then I want him."

"Excellent! Then I'm afraid we must go now. We have a statue, to ah... erect." He swung his gaze towards Liz, his grin broadening as she scowled.

"Statue?" Cooper asked, nonplussed.

"It's for our cover. We're sculptors," she replied hastily, allowing Red to usher her from the room.

He paused in the doorway to add, "We'll be in touch."

As soon as they stepped into the elevator, Liz delivered a quick, firm slap on his ass. "Are you crazy?!"

His eyebrows raised, thoroughly amused by her frustration, as usual. "You're more qualified to make that assessment than I am."

"Why would you even mention the installation?"

"To reassure him, darling, about how serious we are. More importantly, it's giving us a reason to leave today."

"So, you were serious about going now... okay."

Red walked her out to her car and casually leaned against the door, draping one arm over the hood. "Follow us out to the hangar. You can leave your car there."

"Wait. Now, Now?"

"Sure. Now, now. Didn't we already establish that? Are you feeling okay? We'll have to go shopping for your cover wardrobe, anyway. Where's your sense of adventure, Elizabeth?"

Red's boyish excitement was contagious. She pushed him aside to open the door and climb in, only feigning her annoyance by that point. "I'm sure I'll find it before we get there."

-...-...-...-...-

They were wheels-up within the hour. Liz took a separate seat, across from Red, but for no reason other than the fact that they were both window hogs.

"So, where is our monster meat tower being constructed, anyway?"

Red chuckled. "'Monster meat tower'? That has a nice ring to it... It's at the Pineland School of Crafts, in North Carolina."

"Hm. Never heard of it."

"Nestled snug in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Breathtaking scenery. Have you given any thought to your cover wardrobe? We'll be there for a few days."

"Um, no, not exactly."

"Does that mean that you'll let me help?"

She narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing his expression. Red, as usual, gave nothing away. "I will, with certain qualifications."

"I'm still waiting for 'fun Lizzie'. When will she be joining me?" he whined.

"You didn't let me finish. You can choose everything, but I want absolute veto power."

 _"Stilllll_ waiting!"

" _Stilllll_ not finished!" She matched his tone perfectly. "I was going to suggest that you go all-out. I think I'll be more comfortable playing the role if I really look the part, and I can't help looking like a cop. So, help me to just... not."

He smiled at her fondly and laughed. "My little method actress."

-...-...-...-...-

The flight from Virginia went by too quickly for so much as a decent nap.

Who takes a plane across a single state line, anyway?

They went straight from the airstrip to downtown Asheville, holding hands as they strolled along the bustling sidewalks.

"So... where first?" Liz asked.

"You have a hair appointment at Szep Béla, just a block ahead."

"When did you set that up?"

He winked. "They call me Concierge for a reason."

"But what's wrong with my hair?"

"Not a thing, sweetheart. Not one thing, but didn't you tell me to go all-out? We can cancel if you'd like, but we'll still have to make an appearance. We don't want to be on Béla's bad side."

She already had a particular style in mind - one she'd mulled over for years, but never found the boldness to attempt. This, oh this - it was a perfect opportunity to give it a shot without consequence. Subconsciously, her pace quickened, and Red dutifully allowed her to drag him along. He pretended not to notice, lest she temper her obvious excitement.

Béla turned out to be a charmer, well-heeled and dapper like Reddington. They greeted each other with a hug and a double-cheek kiss. "You must be Olivia! Raymond has told me so much about you."

Ah, this game.

He likes to pick a random name and story for her, say nothing of it in advance, and then sit back and watch the wheels churn in her head as she tries to play along without sounding any alarm bells. She shot him a pointed look as Bèla continued, "But you are even more beautiful than he said." He redirected his gaze back towards Red. "I don't know how you do it."

"It's all in the tongue." Their laughter echoed in the otherwise-empty salon. "But you're a handsome fellow - certainly more handsome than myself. I think you'd do just as well if you lived north of the Mason-Dixon line."

Whether Red expected her to agree with him or not, she couldn't be sure, so Liz remained mum. Béla was attractive enough, but Red is positively magnetic. She wasn't, however, about to risk any manner of slights against the man who was about to do her hair.

"Hardly," he replied. "Jack and I eloped last month."

"Mazel tov! I had no idea."

"So, fair Olivia, what can I do for you today?"

She pressed her lips together, her brow knitted in contemplation. "Ray? Why don't you get started on the shopping while Béla takes care of my hair? If nothing else, you should find your friend a belated wedding gift." She nodded towards Dembe, still standing dutifully by the door. "He can stay, if it would make you feel better."

She had only barely worked up the nerve to ask for what she wanted, and if Red stuck around, protectively watching Béla's every move, constantly meeting her eyes through the mirror, she'd lose her mind.

"Will do." He gave the stylist's shoulder a squeeze. "If I come back and her hair looks like mine, you'll pay dearly." He laughed, but it was just a little too loud, and hollow to boot. That nut, he wasn't joking.

With a reassuring smile and a quick kiss on her lips, he was gone.

Liz clasped her hands together and took a deep breath. "Okay! I want it short, really short." She pointed to a framed poster on the wall. "Like that."

"A pixie cut with side-swept bangs, then? Yes, yes. Those gorgeous cheekbones will just POP! And what about color? How would you feel about going blonde?"

"Blonde? I don't know... I'll have to think about it."

"No pressure." He ushered her over to the shampooing area and pressed a glass of champagne into her hand.

"Thank you. How many refills do I get?"

"As many as you'd like."

She chugged it all at once and set the empty glass down. "Can't drink with my head tipped back in the sink, after all."

"Nervous?"

"Just a bit."

"Don't be. If it wouldn't look great, then I wouldn't do it."

Béla, like Red, was quite the chatty Cathy, complicating matters for Liz when he started asking questions. True to his word, however, he kept the champagne flowing, and every snip, spray, and touch was both skilled and precise.

She should have recognized Red's puffery for what it was. He'd left her in very good hands. By the time her hair was nearly done, her nerves were effectively lubricated. "She caught Béla's eyes through the mirror, and asked tentatively, "So... blonde, hm? _Champagne_ blonde?"

"Yes, wonderful! You're going to love it."

Red returned to find her still sitting in the chair, beaming at her own reflection while Béla swept the floor around her. He swallowed thickly, drinking her in with hooded eyes. "Li- uh, Livi. You look... stunning. I'm, I'm stunned."

"You like it?"

He held out one hand, mere inches from touching it. "Very much. May I?"

Béla looked up at him sharply, eyes narrowed. He'd spent the last ten minutes styling it so neatly, not leaving so much as a single hair out of place.

She shrugged. He was going to touch it eventually anyway, right?

But Red didn't just touch it. He combed all ten fingers through her hair, scrunched it, mussed it, and broke into an enormous grin, evidently pleased with the outcome.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to see how it would look after."

"After what?"

He dipped his head to lightly scrape his teeth across her clavicle. "You know."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Costume shopping and NSFW fitting room fun with a riding crop. Need I say more?

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

-...-...-...-...-

In truth, shopping with Red wasn't very high on Liz's wish list, and for a number of reasons. They'd done so in the past, and each time, she couldn't help feeling scrutinized and even somewhat patronized. It had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with the sense that his taste was better than hers, that she didn't really know what was best for her, and that she required some manner of manipulation in order to be worthy of his desire.

Of course, that was all crap, and she'd never, ever admit those insecurities to him. The more she thought about it though, the more she understood that she hadn't gotten drunk to steel her nerves for the haircut - but instead, for shopping with Red.

But so what? It was truly the best idea ever. She had _a blast_. They managed to collaborate on their wardrobes, creating a look that was optimal in terms of both form and function. Daytime in the desert mandates protection from the sun, wind, and sand. At nightfall, plummeting temperatures demand something else entirely. So, what to do? If pressed to give their chosen eclectic aesthetic a label, one could say 'desert steampunk'. It all came along piecemeal, from cheap thriftshops, expensive boutiques, and a military surplus store.

Liz's only veto was for a lace-up corset-style belt. It was gorgeous, no doubt, but it also looked uncomfortable. Red pouted, "But it's so sexy! I love how it shows off those exquisite curves."

"I'm not wearing anything that requires your help to remove."

"So, you can't be naked without me? I fail to see a problem with that."

Liz rolled her eyes and redirected her attention elsewhere, assuming that her point had been made. However, when they finished up, she caught the cashier scanning the belt. _Oh, that tricky little scamp._ In the interest of preserving the peace, she fiddled with the strap on her watch, pretending not to notice.

But in the very next shop, she found a pair of mens beige riding jodphurs, and instantly formed a plan. She held them up for Red's inspection. "You should try these on."

"Nope."

"I thought I was out with 'Fun Red'..." She grumbled.

He worked his jaw for a moment, but complied. "Touché."

When he exited the fitting room, it was all she could do not to drool all over herself. Oh god oh god. The jodphurs left very, very little to the imagination, hugging him in all the right places. With a smug grin, he strutted from one end of the store to the other, just like a couture-clad model on a catwalk. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Unfortunately for him, so did she.

"Buy them."

"Nope!" He shook his head, recalcitrant.

"So... that means I'm supposed to just buy them for you anyway, right? Isn't that how this works?"

His lips spread into a comically-huge grin. "Busted."

"Then I have a proposition... it just might satisfy us both." She pursed her lips, trying and failing not to laugh at her own double entendre.

"I'm sure you do."

"I'll wear the corset belt if you wear the jodphurs."

He'd walked right into that one, truly. "Deal."

Minutes later in the same store, he found a riding crop, and his eyes twinkled with glee. "I'll be needing this."

Liz huffed, feigning a scandalized shock. "No, you don't!"

"I'll look completely ridiculous in jodphurs without it. Accessories are everything, Lizzie. Everything!"

She knew the real reason that he wanted it. He ought to be chastened, she decided. Liquid courage still bubbling in her stomach, she picked up a zippered red dress and gently elbowed him. "Do you mind helping me into this?"

 _Hah!_ As if he'd actually have to think of a response... He followed her into the fitting room and put his purchases down on the bench inside. After closing the door behind them, she began to undress. Red watched her through the mirror with hooded eyes.

Down to just her bra and panties, he took the dress off of the hanger and held it out for her, but when she leaned in as if to take it, she bypassed the dress and grabbed the crop from the bench instead.

"Lizzie?" His breath caught in his throat.

In answer, she pushed him backwards, step by step, until he hit the wall and her body was pressed up against his. She kissed him softly for long seconds before opening her mouth to him. All the while, she kept both hands behind her back, clutching the crop.

Like always, his cock behaved like a lightswitch. With a mere flick of the wrist, Red was rock-hard and ready to go. He grabbed her ass and pulled her against him, but Liz was quick to step back. "No hands." She said it softly and sweetly, as if requesting a small favor, but the crop in her hands reminded him that it was really a command.

"It seems I've underestimated you," he replied huskily, all the more turned on.

She smirked and stepped in to kiss him again, but maintained an inch or two between them. Only after he proved that he could behave did she lightly rub against him through his pants with the crop.

He tried to press forward with his hips, needing more pressure, more friction, more contact in general. Liz took pity and tried to give him that.

For a moment, anyway.

Abruptly, she stepped back again, but this time, she turned away from him and reached for the dress. After pulling it over her head, she met his eyes through the mirror. He was panting, jaw slackened in disbelief.

"Well? Are you gonna zip me, or should I give you a few lashes on the ass instead?"


	4. Chapter 4

AN: They're still in the dressing room... :P

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-...-...-...-

He continued to stare for a few more seconds, no doubt in search of an appropriately witty comeback. "Bravo, Lizzie."

She smirked back at him through the mirror, still awaiting his decision. Zipper or crop?

"Alright, you've made your point. I don't _really_ need the crop for my outfit."

"Turn around, Red. Elbows on the wall."

He chuckled, quite certain that she was joking.

"It seems I haven't made my point at all. Turn around, and I'll show you."

He licked his lips and lifted his chin before doing as she asked, making sure she knew that he was still very much enjoying her little game - whatever it was.

Without further ado, she delivered three heavy-handed whacks to his ass in sucession. It wasn't so bad. He was still wearing his pants, after all. "Now, do you see my point?"

He shrugged and shook his head.

"That's okay. You will." She put the crop between her teeth and reached around him with both hands to undo his belt and pull down his pants, but not his boxers.

He groaned in frustration when she stepped back without so much as even touching him where he needed it. The next lash was just as hard as the first three. He turned his head to look at her, but kept his elbows on the wall as ordered.

Liz smiled back at him brightly.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" He asked, still a bit surprised.

"Yes, darling. Now, pull up your pants. We're done." She could practically hear the wheels still churning in his head, so she added, " _That_ is the point, that I enjoy this side too. When you buy this, don't automatically assume that you'll always be the one wielding it in the bedroom."

A sudden knock on the door made them both jump, startled. "Raymond?"

"Yes, Dembe?" he replied, trying to adjust himself into the least uncomfortable position in his trousers.

"The clerk and store owner are debating what you all are doing in here. You're louder than you think."

A blush rapidly crept up Liz's cheeks, but Red just licked his lips and chuckled at her.

"Here, take my card... and our purchases too." Red passed the card over the door, along with their items, including the crop. "Ringing these up should take a minute or two. We'll just slip out while you have them occupied. Thank you... Oh, wait! One sec." He turned towards Liz. "Do you want that dress or not?"

"Eh... Not really, but I had my eye on a long, hooded red cape. It's on a mannequin by the window. You can't miss it. Could you grab that for me too?"

"Of course. I'll meet you at the car."

"Thank you," both replied in unison.

-...-...-...-

The drive from Asheville to the Pineland Craft School took twice as long as the flight from DC. By the time they arrived, Liz was exhausted and woefully sober. If she happened to trip and fall along the way, she felt certain that she'd never get up again.

But still.

Curiosity reigned king. She very much wanted to see the mountain of man meat, and Red was all too eager to show her.

Night had fallen, mooting the beautiful scenery as he'd described it. From a large water fountain in the center of campus, sidewalks stretched out in all directions, illuminated only by miniature solar-powered lights, each leading to separate buildings that varied in size. An ariel view would resemble a child's crude drawing of the sun.

As soon as they parked, Red jumped out to open Liz's door for her. "Leave your things in the car. I have to get the key to the treehouse from Yuri, anyway."

"Since when do treehouses have keys? And what does that have to do with us?"

"I could tell you right now, but that would rob you of the satisfaction of seeing it for yourself first."

She rolled her eyes. "And rob you of the satisfaction of making me squirm."

"See, I knew you'd understand." He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against his side while they walked.

As they were about to enter the largest building, she stopped at the door. "Wait, does my hair look okay?" The unusual question threw Red off for a moment, but she'd been touching her hair all day, and by feel alone, she still didn't have a mental framework for how it appeared to others.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "It's a perfect mess, sweetheart."

"What?"

"Like you intentionally made all the little pieces go in all different directions. It's better than 'good.'"

"Except I didn't do that. You did."

"And it's perfect. Come on," he cajoled, pulling her through the door.

The stillness of the Carolina night belied the bustling activity within the studio, which looked more like a warehouse or a Hollywood film set. She squinted against the bright lighting and searched the open space for her installation in progress, but to no avail. "Uh, where is it?"

"It's everywhere."

 _Honestly, why does she still bother to ask questions?_

A very thin man who bore a striking resemblance to her ex-husband split off from the crowd and approached. "Raymond! It's so great to see you! Well, the rest of you, anyway."

 _Huh?_

The men embraced, and then Red stepped back and nodded towards her. "I'd like you to meet Olivia Shore, the beautiful face behind the super schlong."

"Hello." She scowled at Red and offered her hand to shake Yuri's, but the man grabbed it, brought it to his lips, and kissed her knuckles instead.

"Enchanté."

 _Barf._

She chanced a quick look at Red's face, not sure if he'd be pissed off or amused, but he gave no indication either way. "Show us what you've got so far," he said.

"Sure. Follow me."

They circumnavigated the enormous studio, proving that what Red had said was true. It was everywhere. As they walked, Yuri offered information about the creative process. Liz tried to forget her immediate dislike for the man. Being kissed on the hand by a scrawny version of Tom was far more preferable than watching Red's ambiguous female associates kiss him on the lips. She'd seen enough of that.

"Right now, we're still in the early stages of construction, so none of the pieces are recognizable as what they really are. With both hardware and software that I developed myself, I scanned the mold and uploaded it as a 3D image. Then, I used several algorithms to scale it and calculate the weight and materials necessary to make the structure not only stable, but truly safe, and also broken down into five separate pieces to be welded together on-site. What you see now is essentially the 'skeleton'. Am I boring you guys yet?"

Liz shook her head. "Not at all. Keep talking. I need to learn as much as I can. No doubt people will have questions. I should have answers."

"Right! Of course. Okay so, the really hard part, no pun intended, will be the exterior. We're using a combination of recycled rubber from tires, silicone, and fiberglass. Inside the skeleton, you'll have the huge barrels of foam, compressed air, and the powerhead to catapult the successful climbers' victory shots into the air."

"This software you've developed, is it like something an architect would use?" Liz asked. "Is it available for use by other artists?"

"Yes, it's like that, but no, it's not ready for any manner of distribution. Not yet. I haven't even decided on a name for it."

She flashed her most charming smile. "Would you mind if we join your team tomorrow while you work on it? I'd like to be involved in whatever capacity that I can."

Yuri looked at Red, obviously deferring to his judgement. Red, in turn, first smirked at her and then turned his gaze back to Yuri with a smack of his lips. "We'd love that. Livi is the most curiously hands-on agent that I've ever met."

She narrowed her eyes at him and sighed.

"Of course, that's no problem. Come and watch. Come and learn. Come and do, you know, whatever you want, whenever you want."

"Thank you."

With a squeeze of her hand, Red gaged the extent of her ever-shortening fuse and offered a small, genuine smile. "Thank you for your help - your whole team. If you'll please excuse us, we'd like to go ahead and get settled in for the night."

"Oh! Right, you still need the key. Hang tight. I'll be right back."

While they watched him walk away, Red wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her back against his chest as he whispered directly into her ear, "I don't want you to think that I didn't love your hair before, because I absolutely did, but would you like to know my favorite thing about this look?"

Her breath hitched a little - an adequate answer to his question, he supposed.

He gently nipped her neck and hissed, "Access..."

"Mmhm... Don't forget that your own neck is still vulnerable." She spun a 180 and used her thumb to caress the tiny scar over his right carotid pulse. Her eyes twinkled with the fondness of nostalgia.

"Sweetheart, there are a number of memories that I'd never want to live without. If I forget that one, you have permission shoot me."

"Can I get that in writing?"

As he opened his mouth to spout what she could only assume was a witty retort, Yuri called out to them, "Got it!" His voice echoed throughout the resonant studio. "We've made a few changes since the last time you were here." He dropped the key into Red's outstretched palm.

"Changes for _me_?"

He shrugged. "More like _because_ of you. Just little things. We replaced the chandelier with an embedded ceiling light, nailed the bed to the floor, and installed smoke alarms. You'll have to either disable it or smoke outside on the deck."

There was certainly a story attached to that - one that Liz didn't want to hear.

He couldn't help laughing. "Wait a second. I replaced that chandelier!"

"I'm sorry," she began, nonplussed. "Are we talking about a treehouse?"

"Well, it _was_ the greatest treehouse ever," Red pouted, feigning disappointment.

"And we'll be sleeping there?"

"That... is entirely up to you."

 _It usually is._

"Well then, please lead the way."


End file.
